Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Making Choices - Simplifying My Life

Its with mixed feelings that I find myself having to make some difficult choices for my life.  I've been running flat out again, a cycle I went through last year and I thank the Lord for that experience in my life because I was able to recognise the signs before I spin right out of control.  He's given me the ability to not only see the wreck I could have (once again) been headed for, but He allowed me, through prayer and consideration, to make healthy choices, tailored especially for the plans he has for me. 

The plans of a hard-working person lead to prosperity,
but everyone who is always in a hurry ends up in poverty.

Proverbs 21:5

And I've been guilty of this very thing - I've been hurrying everywhere and trying to do it ALL! 

Funny thing is, as I am writing this I'm also listening to a radio program on Kinship Radio online to an interview with Max Lucado, the well known author of many Christian Books - and he's talking about this very subject - figuring out what's important and then figuring out what to do about our lives so that they match the plan that's vital for us to live with "the goal" in mind.  The goal of living life to the best of our ability with a focus on it counting as a life lived to the glory of Jesus Christ. 

In my case, I'm was lacking a shut off valve for doing "good things" and instead of doing just a few things well, I was trying to do all things and nothing was being accomplished or finished, just a lot of activity without fruit!  Not a very good witness. 

And SELF was continuously battling with me as I kept trying to juggle more and more.  And then came a day when I knew that I had to take stock and prioritize and figure out, for me, what was important right now.  This is what I'm finding for my life, at this time:

  • developing my prayer life - devotion to Jesus Christ
  • my marriage, I need to make sure it gets more tending than household etc!  I desire to do some fun things for my amazing husband.  Somehow our date nights have been being eaten away
  • family and friendships - not willing to give up close connections to those I love - I see it too being sacrificed at times
  • church - our church (Osoyoos Christian Centre) is growing and evolving (exciting times!!!) and the talents and gifts (all the glory to God) both my Mr and I have are being employed in a big way
  • school - still trying to work through some graphics courses - but often I wind up helping others (thats part of ministry!)  and missing my own lessons. 
  • teaching a two hour, six week (fridays) computer art course to grades 5-7 students
  • workshop - "Simplify Your Life" - an 8 part workshop series through Midday Connection and Marcia Ramsland
There's something missing here - my designing.  I love designing.  I'm passionate about it and would love to be able to do it all day, but when I sat down to prioritize my life I had to recognise that this is a want and not a need for my life right now.  You have no idea how I wrestled and prayed about this.  It came down to a vanity thing - I love being a designer.  I LOVE Scrapbook-Elements where I sell, I love the PEOPLE at SBE, they have been fabulous, supportive of me 100%.   My Mr as well, he gave me free choice to do what I thought was right - even though he watched me melt down under stress last year when I took on too much. 

I finally had to make the decision and with a heavy heart I talked to Sunni and John at SBE and asked to be released.  They were incredibly sensetive and kind, even offering me an hiatus for a few months.  Ack - this made it harder for me because the little selfish part of my brain kept whispering "you could do it" even though the hard physical evidence of my calendar/planner says NOT.  Designing is something I would want to do WELL, not just "a lot of" and I knew I would not be able to fulfill my obligations there and would have wound up in the train wreck for sure. 

So, my time at SBE is winding down - I believe the 26th is the deadline.  I want to say to everyone at SBE I'm still family, you are a terrific bunch and I believe with all my heart this stepping away is only for a season.  Sunni and John have blessed me with the knowledge that the door is always open for my return.   Thank you!

This is a perfect time to let you know that its SBE's 7th anniversary and there's a CELEBRATION SALE on Friday, April 22 - with a 40% savings on everything!!!  (excluding Sale excludes gift certificates, CD burns, DOTM, Closeout, UBI, Bargain Bin and Designer Resource categories plus
all items regularly priced at $2 or less.)
 
I will still design - but only when I get time, for the joy of it and to build a library of kits for when I begin again... and of course for a FREE item here from time to time.
 
I'll be posting more little snippets on how my life is coming back in order in the coming days so stay tuned. 
 
Have you had a time like this, when you were faced with having to say NO to some things you really liked to do?  Was your family supportive? 

4 comments:

  1. Good afternoon Barb:)
    Oh Barb..I had an idea this was coming...cause you can't burn the candle at both ends and come out not smelling like smoke.KWIM?:)
    It's good to take stock of our lives and prioritize.If you don't mind if I give you a little wisdom? Moses didn't go around banging his staff on everything he saw.He obeyed the Lord's commands.When he did something on his own...because of stress..he missed out.KWIM? OBEDIENCE is better than sacrifice. Rest in HIM my friend.:)Hebrews 4:10

    Huge hugs and lots of love!
    Valinda

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  2. You are doing the right thing! I think having more time for yourself and your husband is Nr. 1. And of course time for the Lord. Whatever comes after, should not overtake these first 3. Good for you for realizing the importance of "more time" and organizing your life. The Lord will bless you for it!

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  3. I will keep you in prayer for the LORD to direct your footsteps.

    http://dianamlarson.blogspot.com

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  4. You always post the best stuff.. I am so happy that you are taking care of yourself. I am trying to say no to things but it is hard.. and I too want to do everything.. I told Robert that GOD needs to let me live to be very old so I can do all I want to do.. lol what a silly girl I am.

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